just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
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