if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
