I need help removing her.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
