I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
