i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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