Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
