At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
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