I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
