We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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