the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
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