he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Randomize
