Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
