so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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