i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
