Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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