He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Congratulations! We have a period
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
