my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
