So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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