we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
