it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
