all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
You have to summon your inner elephant
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize