FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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