google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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