I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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