I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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