So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
