THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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