I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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