I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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