i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
