My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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