You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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