let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Panties = found
Randomize
