That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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