Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
