You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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