i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize