So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
