We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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