i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
