Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
