i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Randomize
