bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Randomize
