rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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