id be glad to
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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