She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
he laminated a picture of his dick.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
