You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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