So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
