I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
