I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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