She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize