Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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