Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
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