Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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