This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
