Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
You dont lie about slip and slides
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
