I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
