Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize