i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
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