Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
