Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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