You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Randomize
