His pubic hair was longer than his dick
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
