all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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