Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize