Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Randomize
