come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Randomize
