I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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