i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
