plz talk dirty to me
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
